Youtube interview part I
Youtube interview part II
Each person brings to a relationship unique qualities, personality and history.
These differences can be complimentary and endearing. But each person also brings unique interpretations and opinions about these differences. And in times of difficulty, this can contribute to the disintegration of communication and compassion.
When the person you have chosen to share your life with is no longer perceived as a supportive partner, one can experience hurt, anger, and resentment; there may be a tendency to look outside of the relationship to fill the empty space or become resigned. The differences that once were appreciated and seen as unique qualities are now a source of conflict as the relationship goes adrift.
Couples counseling can help you navigate these changes – to get back on the same side of the fence, communicate in a way that is effective and helpful, negotiate differences, resolve problems and even argue without attacking and hurting each other.
Counseling can help when:
…Arguments are never ending
Are you fighting all the time and these days it feels like every discussion is a conflict? Do these arguments come up again and again without resolution and each of you never feel heard or understood by the other?
…The best solution is not talking at all
Have these arguments resulted in avoidance? Do you feel you cannot win and there is no point in engaging this discussion, AGAIN? Have you lost the energy and motivation to try to work it out?
…Even together, you feel alone
Have you stopped enjoying each other’s company? Do you feel alone in your relationship? Are you now “just” roommates? Is every encounter met with frustration and sadness?
…Your giving more than you’re getting
Do you feel your spouse doesn’t appreciate you or recognize the efforts you put into making things better? Is your “tank” empty from unmet needs and now you can’t meet your spouses needs or your own?
…Infidelity breaks all trust
Has there been an affair and now the idea of being happily married again seems impossible? Are you asking, “Can we survive this? Or how do I know it won’t happen again?”
You are in love and ready to make a lasting commitment- have you considered pre-marital counseling to ask the important questions that you may not have considered and could potentially cause problems later? What are your expectations of marriage/being a husband or being a wife? Are you on the same page about finances, friends, independence and sex? Do you both approach arguments in a manner that feels respectful and productive? Are there small issues you have identified, but don’t know how to introduce that conversation OR are you believing that you or your spouse will change over time?
Pre-marital therapy can offer an objective perspective that can be of equal support to both of you as the difficult questions are asked and in assisting you both in exploring the “little things” so they do not have a chance to ever become big.